I read Craig's list for entertainment purposes

"In Addition:
No Smoking
No drugs
420 Friendly
M/F Clean and Considerate
peace_love_n_happyness@hotmail.com"

I'm trying to see the connection between "No drugs" and "420 Friendly" Were they worried about saying "No heavy drugs?"

" HELLO PEOPLE. I AM LOOKIG FOR 3 ROOMATES ASAP. I FOUND THIS GREAT APARTMENT IN ASTORIA 1 BLOCK AWAY FROM THE TRAIN STATION, CLOSE TO EVERYTHING HAS A BALCONY AN A HUGE LIVING ROOM.... 31ST AVE AND 32ND ST,4 BEDROOMS WICH ILL USE ONE OF COURSE..ABOUT US IAM A 24 YEAR OLD GIRL, I AM PERSONAL ASSISTEN FOR A BIG BUSS MAN IN THE HOTEL INDUSTRY, I AM VERY LAID BACK AND COOL, MY BF IS 29 AND IS A BARTENDER AT NIGHT AND STUDING TOWARDS HIS MASTER IN THE MORNING. I AM VERY BUSSY SO I AM NEVER HOME AND ALSO I SPEND HALF OF THE WEEK AT THE HOTEL. BUT I AM LOOKING FOR SOME PLEOPE THAT ARE: RESPONSABLE, CLEAN AFTER THEMSELFS AND THAT PAID BILLS ON TIME...I LOVE CHILLING WITH MY ROOMIES ONCE IN A WHILE.. I AM VERY RESPECTFULL AND CONSIDERATE FOR OTHERS, SO I EXPECT THE SAME FROM U....IF YOUR INTERESTED GIVE ME A CALL AND WE WILL SET UP AN APPT TODAY FOR TOMOROW....646-464-3518(ONLY SERIOUS INQ. PLEASE) OH YOU WILL HAVE TO BRING PROOF OF INCOME AND A GOOD CREDIT IS REQUIRE.1 LAST AND SECURITY DEPOSIT.NO UTILITIES INCLUDED."

When's the last time you've heard of someone refering to their significant other as a BF? High school or earlier?
I wonder who actually writes "I'm a loud slob who will be disrespectful of your space and things, I like living in filth and squallor, I have no intention of paying bills or rent on time, or at all, for that matter. I should respond to a few of these types just for shits and giggles.

At least this one is more realistic

"Rules:
hahah cmon there are no real rules like ive read on some of these places ( no overnight guests or cooking or drinking)..only real rule is courtesy and cleanliness. we dont care on overnight guests or cooking or drinking. Just be courteous to all. During week house is pretty quiet and at times on weekends as well but time to time on weekends maybe a bit hopping."


And then there's THIS high-maintenance, anal-retentive freak:
"Living with the owner of house. Looking for clean, responsible, QUIET roommate, 20’s to 30’s. Prefer long term (6 months or more). NO SMOKERS! (Not even your visitors!) Must like dogs. (One small dog in house. No additional animals please.) No one high maintenance (i.e. wastes electricity, water, etc.; uses the bathroom for a long time).

Room is unfurnished on the top floor of a 3 BR, 1-family house. Dimensions of bedroom are 8' x 12'. Closet outside room, 3' x 3'. You’ll be sharing the bathroom, kitchen and dining room. Share cleaning responsibilities for bathroom. Light cooking only. Must separate own recycling (receptacles provided). Rent includes utilities, cable (bring your own TV), wireless internet access, laundry in garage. Extra $20/month for A/C in summer months (A/C unit included in room).

Prefer professional with stable job and can give work verification. Student OK but I need proof that rent will be paid (i.e. parents’ proof of income). Previous landlord and/or roommate references a plus. I will also ask for a bank statement and proof of identity. I am the owner, and I work in real estate, and this is very important information when screening for a potential roommate.


Need 1 month’s deposit and 1 month’s rent BEFORE you move in (Total $1050). No later than July 1 start.

Showing on 6/22-6/24, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, by APPOINTMENT. Email if interested. Include name, age, phone number, job/profession, employer, yearly or monthly income, and reason for moving. Those who do not include all information will not be considered."

Why doesn't she put "You must come bearing gifts to the queen, groveling at my feet, and kiss my ring before I will even look at you" And "Light Cooking?" What the hell does that mean?? Only fat-free, low cal foods allowed? Or does it mean "I only have a hotplate and a microwave, so don't even ask"



But this one might take the cake:

"$300 / 2br - Dingy, Damp, Smelly room available for 1 week in Williamsburg
Note: This is a seven day rental

Okay, so here's the deal: I used to have a roommate. He was a slob, and he smelled terribly. Recently, without notice, he up and moved to Cleveland, presumably to live in a city more accepting of terrible smelling slobs. I can't say for sure. Regardless of his reasons, he left me alone in our "two bedroom" apartment that is literally 30 yards from the Bedford L station on North 7th Street. The apartment has been described as "cozy", and as having "character". It has an amazing view (of peoples legs walking by on the sidewalk above), exposed pipes, very little natural light, and an interesting smell. That being said, because the apartment is a basement apartment, it stays cool, and the location really cant be beat. It takes between 10-15 minutes to get to grand central station, between 5-10 to get to Union Square and is within walking distance of bars and restuarants in Williamsburg. There is a Brooklyn Industries only 3 blocks away, and if you stay for a full week, there's a decent chance there will be one even closer than that before you move out. There are several places to buy overpriced used t-shirts nearby, and no fewer than 3 dozen sushi and thai restaurants within a 2 block radius.

Ummmm, but honestly, the room isn't great. It has a door to the backyard, a refrigerator, shelves, and a tile floor. There are three futons in the room if you need a place to sleep, and a sink as well. The bathroom is in my room, which makes this essentially a railroad situation (though, you dont have to walk through my room to get to your room, only to get to the bathroom).

But, if you're moving to New York in July, or tommorow, and need a place to stay while you get yourself situated, this is the perfect opportunity. Everything is negotiable, so please feel free to contact me with questions, concerns, requests for viewing, etc.

Oh, and about me: I work full time, and live a pretty active life, so there is a good chance I wont be around much while you're there. I'm usually out of the apartment by 8am, and dont come home until after 5 or 6pm. So, feel free to be in touch.

I guess that's all. Oh, and I'm willing to live with people of any gender, sexual orientation, creed, etc. etc. Oh, and I'm a male, 25 years old. Okay, that's really all, I think."

$300.......for 7 days....oh....my....god.