When I was younger, I had a book called "the book of questions." In leiu of physical intimacy at age 16, I found this resource to be extrememly helpful.. Would you rather be someone with down's syndrome or a van gogh who cuts off his ear?
Would you push the "normal" button? The qualifying question was always, would I always be as smart? Listening to my music, after drinking a bit, and for once, not feeling emotional, the same images don't dance through my head, feeding my hands and soon after feet, I wonder, is this is what it's like to not be "creative" ? Would I want this in return for normalcy? It scares me to not have this cretivity at my fingetips. Wheter its the midterm tomorrow morning at 9am that I don't give a damn about or the amount of alcohol that i've consumed since 4:30 (6 hrs), I don't feel the same exultation that I usually do. Given that I have to choose between a coreography meeting with dancers tuesday and a midterm tomorrow, I'm not sure that I lke the stable, uncreative part of me. Because who gives a damn if I make 100% on a legal mid-term; it won't guarantee me a fucking job that will pay a living wage. But coreographing an important work goes beyond just me.
Tell me why I came to graduate school again?
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